Monday, July 13, 2015

Pastor Goes Golfing

Here is another one of Joel Osteen's jokes that I like....

This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.

He told his assistant he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.

He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.

An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?"

God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Baptist, Catholic and a Charismatic

Here is another Joel Osteen joke. I think you'll like this one.

I heard about these three men, a Baptist, a Catholic and a Charismatic.

They died on the same day and went to Heaven.

Saint Peter met them at them at the gates and said "I'm sorry men, your rooms are not available yet."

He didn't know what to do, so he decided to call Satan and see if he would keep them for a little while.

Satan reluctantly agreed.

A few hours later Satan called Peter and said "Peter, you've got to come get these guys. The Baptist man is saving everybody. The Catholic man is forgiving everybody. And the Charismatic has already raised enough money for air conditioning."

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Bear & Minister Religion Joke

One my favorite things about watching Joel Osteen, is that he starts out each episode with something funny. Today, I was watching an older episode, and really enjoyed this joke.

Bear & Minister Religion Joke

"I heard about this minister, he'd been out hunting all day long.

He searched and searched through the woods, with no sign of a bear.

Finally, in frustration, he through his gun down on the ground.

He went down to the stream to cool off.

About that time he sees this huge grizzly bear running at him, full force, about a hundred yards away.

He fell down on his knees and said "God, I need protection. Please convert this bear into a Christian."

Miraculously, the bear froze in his tracks, lifted both paws to the Heavens and said "Lord, thank you for this food I am about to eat."