Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Hoosiers and Cold Weather

Cold Weather Behavior…

60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. Hoosiers plant gardens.

50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Indiana.

40 above zero: Import cars won’t start. Hoosiers drive with the sunroof open.

32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in the Hoosier State gets thicker.

20 above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas, wool hats and mittens. Hoosiers throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in Indiana have one last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero: People in Miami all die. Hoosiers close the windows.

10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. Hoosiers dig their winter coats out of storage.

25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in Indiana still selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero: Washington, D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in Indiana let their dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Hoosiers get upset because the Mini-Van won’t start.

460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in Indiana can be heard to say, “Cold ’nuff fer ya?”

500 below zero: Hell freezes over. In Terre Haute public schools open 2 hours late.

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