Blonde Police Officer

 A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.  She dug through her purse, and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.  The police woman replied "It's square and has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.  "Here it is." she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying "Ok, you can go.  I didn't realize you were a cop....."

Acts 2:38 Bible Joke

This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen late one night.

She was home alone, didn't have any weapons, didn't know what she'd do.

Finally, she decided I'll just say a scripture verse.

She shouted out "Acts 2:38:".

The burglar suddenly froze in his tracks, wouldn't move.

Soon the police arrived. They were amazed that a woman with no weapon could do this.

They said to the burglar, "What was it about that scripture, that had such an effect on you?"

He said "Scripture, what scripture? I thought she said she had an axe and two thirty-eights."

This is another one of the jokes that I heard on Joel Osteen's show.

The Acts 2:38 Bible scripture reads:

"Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost."

Redneck ID Joke

Here's a funny Redneck Joke that my niece shared with me.

A Redneck gets pulled over by a traffic cop. 

The cop says: "Got any ID?"

Redneck says: "'Bout what?"

New Police Recruit Joke

New Police Recruit Joke

A new police recruit was taking his final exam. 

He was in front of this large classroom.

The Sargent asked him "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother-in-law?"

Without missing a beat he said "Call for backup".

- Joel Osteen
Episode Airing: 10/31//1999