Blonde Police Officer

 A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.  She dug through her purse, and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.  The police woman replied "It's square and has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.  "Here it is." she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying "Ok, you can go.  I didn't realize you were a cop....."

Joel Osteen Blonde Joke

This is just a joke, so if you're a blonde, don't take offense.

Here's a Joel Osteen Blonde joke for you.

I heard about this man, he was sitting in a dark restaurant. He said to this lady sitting next to him "Would you like to hear a blonde joke?"

She said "Well, before you tell me, you should know that I'm blonde, 6 foot tall and a professional body builder. The lady next to me is blonde, 6 foot 2 and a professional wrestler. And the lady next to her is blonde, 6 foot 5 and the kickboxing champion of the world. Now, do you still want to tell me?"

He thought about it for a moment and then said "No. Not if I''m going to have to explain it three times."

Football Finally Makes Sense

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles.

But, I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin. One team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' 

I'm like Hello....it's only 25 cents!"

PREGNANT TURKEY STORY

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for
the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom
decided to play a trick.


She told my sister that she needed something from the store.


When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven,
removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the
turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in
the oven.



When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of
the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon
hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.



With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed,
'Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!' At the reality of this
horrifying news, my sister started to cry.



It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay
eggs!



Yep.................SHE'S BLONDE!

He's Not Even Blonde

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt.. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE ! '

And they say blondes are dumb...

How Blonde Was She

How Blonde Was She???

She was So Blonde

* She thought a quarterback was a refund.

* She thought General Motors was in the army..

* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

* At the bottom of an application where it says 'Sign here:' she wrote
'Sagittarius.'

She Was So Blonde...

* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.

* Under 'education' on her job application, she put 'Hooked On Phonics.'




She was So Blonde...

* She tripped over a cordless phone.

* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said 'Concentrate.'

* She told me to meet her at the corner of 'WALK' and 'DON'T WALK.'

* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.




She was So Blonde...

* She studied for a blood test.

* She sold the car for gas money.

* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.

* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, 'Airport Left,'
she turned around and went home..




She Was So Blonde....

* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she
moved.

* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.

* She had a shirt that said 'TGIF,' which she thought stood for 'This
Goes In Front.'



AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

She is so Blonde...

*She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.