The River Joel Osteen Joke

Here is another one of Joel Osteen's jokes for you.

"I heard about this pastor. He was finishing up a fiery sermon on self control.

He said with great passion,

If I had all the beer in the world, I'd throw it in the river.

With greater ferber, If I had all the wine in the world, I'd throw it in the river.

Almost at the top of his lungs, If I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd throw it in the river.

He sat down, the song leader came up. 

He said for our closing song, Let's sing Hymn 365.....

Shall we Gather at the River."

Not only was this a good story, but it reminded me of when I was baptized.

Back in the day, when they actually did "gather at the river" to baptize people, in eastern Kentucky.

Fond memory.

PREGNANT TURKEY STORY

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for
the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom
decided to play a trick.


She told my sister that she needed something from the store.


When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven,
removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the
turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in
the oven.



When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of
the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon
hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.



With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed,
'Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!' At the reality of this
horrifying news, my sister started to cry.



It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay
eggs!



Yep.................SHE'S BLONDE!