She was home alone, didn't have any weapons, didn't know what she'd do.
Finally, she decided I'll just say a scripture verse.
She shouted out "Acts 2:38:".
The burglar suddenly froze in his tracks, wouldn't move.
Soon the police arrived. They were amazed that a woman with no weapon could do this.
They said to the burglar, "What was it about that scripture, that had such an effect on you?"
He said "Scripture, what scripture? I thought she said she had an axe and two thirty-eights."
This is another one of the jokes that I heard on Joel Osteen's show.
The Acts 2:38 Bible scripture reads:
"Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost."
