Groom to Minister Joke

This is another joke from Joel Osteen, that I found humorous.

I heard about this groom. At the wedding rehearsal, he said to the minister "I'll make a deal with ya. If during the vowels you'll leave out all of that love, honor and obey stuff, I'll give you a hundred dollars."He slipped a hundred dollar bill in the minister's hand and walked away with a smile.

The next day during the ceremony, the minister said to him "Do you promise to bow down before your wife, to take her breakfast in bed, to fulfill her every desire."

He gulped in astonishment, and said in a weak voice "I do." Then he whispered in the minister's ear "I thought we had a deal?"

The minister handed him back his money and said "Your wife made me a much better offer."

Understand Women Joke

Understand Women - Joke

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky
clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'Because you have
tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over
anytime I want.' 

 


God replied, 'Your request is materialistic! Think of the enormous challenges
for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the
Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard
for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and
think of something that could possibly help man kind.'


The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that
I , and all men, could understand women. I want to know how she feels inside,
what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what
she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.

God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"