92 Year Old Man - Joel Osteen Joke

Here is another Joel Osteen joke for ya.

"I heard about this 92 year old man.

He wasn't feeling up to par, so he went to the doctor.

A few days later, the doctor saw him out in the park with this beautiful young lady by his side.

And he seemed as happy as can be.

The doctor said wow, you sure are feeling a lot better aren't you.

He said yes doctor, I'm just following your orders.

You said get a hot mama, and stay cheerful.

The doctor said, I didn't say that.

I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful."

Walk With Me While I Age

I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did me.

"Walk With Me While I Age", a beautiful poem about growing older.
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"shit, I forgot the words."

Elderly Woman Joke

An elderly Lady called 911 on her mobile phone to report that her car has been broken into.

She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the operator: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.

The operator said, "Stay calm An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the Officer radios in. "Disregard.." He says, "She got in the back-seat by mistake.."

Bike Humor

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"

So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

The Cat in the Hat on Aging

I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh my god, what can I do?

My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My mood is bad - can you tell?

My body's drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years
have come at last
The Golden Years
can kiss my ass.