Bubba and the Stray Dog

This is another joke that I heard listening to Joel Osteen.

I heard about this man named Bubba.
He lived way out in the country.
There was a stray dog that kept showing up at his house.

His wife said "Bubba, you have to put the dog in the truck, take him out to the woods and drop him off. That's where he lives."

Bubba took him a mile down the road, dropped him off.
When he came home, the dog was walking up the driveway.
Practically beat him back home.

It happened again and again.

His wife said "Bubba, you have to take him way out. Drive him around in circles. Get him mixed up."

Bubba took him an hour away.
Criss crossed country roads he had never driven before.
Dropped him off.

Two hours later, he calls his wife from the truck.
He said "Did the dog come back?"

She said "Yes he's walking up the driveway."

He said "Do me a favor, put him on the line. I need directions."

Talking Dog Joke

In Miami:

A boy went to his dad and asked if he could have a dog.  Since the boy had been behaving well and doing good in school, the dad agreed.

He looked in the paper and seen an ad for a talking dog.  The guy had to see it, so he called.  The owner said come on over.

When the man arrived the owner said, "The dog's right in there". 

The man walked in and saw the dog watching tv. The dog said "Hello. How are you?".

The man said, "You really do talk.  How did you become so fluent?"

The dog said "I worked for the TSA at the airport for a while, sniffing luggage for drugs."

"Oh, that's how." the man exclaimed.

"Well, not just that", said the dog "I also was teamed up with the military on special operations in Iraq."

The man turned to the owner and said "I'll take him."

As they were leaving, the man said "I don't know why anyone would want to sell a talking dog."

The owner said "That dog's a liar. He hasn't ever been out of Miami."

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