Weather Forecasting is Easy Joke

It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota
asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the
old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the
winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter
was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should
collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He
went to the phone, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is
the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold", the
meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more
firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it
still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes", the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going
to be a very cold winter".

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect
every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again.
"Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely", the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is
going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen".

"How can you be so sure?" the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like
crazy".

Biology Joke

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam.

The last question was,

'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk ,' worth 70 points or none at all.

One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

1.) It is perfect formula for the child.
2.) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3.) It is always the right temperature.
4.) It is inexpensive.
5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6.) It is always available as needed.

And then, the student was stuck Finally, in desperation, just before the bell indicating the end
of the test rang, he wrote...

7) It comes in 2 attractive containers.

Grandma and Grandpa Joke

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting
their kids overnight.

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in
his son's medicine cabinet, he asked
about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should
take one Dad; they're very strong
and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10. a pill," Answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to
try one, and before we leave in the
morning, I'll put the money
under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found
$110 under the pillow. He called
Grandpa and said, "I told
you each pill was
$10, not $110.

"I know," said Grandpa.
"The hundred is from
Grandma!"

Chicago - Unique Shopping

If you are ever in Chicago, and need a new gag gift, a practical joke, or just a toy for fun and games, you'll definitely want to check out Uncle Fun.

This hilarious store will bring you back to your childhood years, with good deals on good fun.

Check out more unique stores in Chicago - See What's in Store for You!.

Bike Humor

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"

So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

How is Norma?

HOW IS NORMA?

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked,
"Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the
patient?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that
room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,
"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well.. Her
blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her
physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said,
"Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good
news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything."

Enjoy Life Now!

When you have an  'I Hate My Job day'
[Even if you're retired or you're a housewife, you sometimes have those days]

Try this:

Stop at your pharmacy and go to the
thermometer section and purchase
a rectal thermometer made by
Johnson and Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your
doors, draw the curtains and
turn off the phone so
you will not be disturbed.


Change into very comfortable
clothing and sit in your favorite
chair. Open the package and
remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table
or a surface so that it will not
become chipped or broken.


Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from
the box and read it carefully.

You will notice that in small
print there is this statement:


"Every Rectal Thermometer
made by Johnson and Johnson
is personally tested
and then sanitized."


Now, close your eyes and repeat
out loud five times,' I am so glad
I do not work in the thermometer
quality control department at
Johnson and Johnson.'


HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER,
THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE
WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A
PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS!



If you haven't got a smile on your face
and laughter in your heart...

Maybe you should go and work
for Johnson and Johnson!




Enjoy life now - It has an expiration date!