The Urine Sample

One time I got sick and landed in the hospital.
There was this one nurse that just drove me crazy.
Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a child.
She would say in a patronizing tone of voice,
And how are we doing this morning?

Or are we ready for a bath?
Or are we hungry?

I had had enough of this particular nurse.
One day at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bedside stand.

Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing.

So you know where the juice went!

The nurse came in a while later, picked up the urine bottle,
looked at it and said, My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today.

At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand,
popped off the top, and gulped it saying,
Well, I'll run it through again.
Maybe I can filter it better this time.

The nurse fainted....I just smiled.

How is Norma?

HOW IS NORMA?

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked,
"Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the
patient?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that
room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,
"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well.. Her
blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her
physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said,
"Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good
news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything."