If you are ever in Chicago, and need a new gag gift, a practical joke, or just a toy for fun and games, you'll definitely want to check out Uncle Fun.
This hilarious store will bring you back to your childhood years, with good deals on good fun.
Check out more unique stores in Chicago - See What's in Store for You!.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Bike Humor
A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"
So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"
So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"
Thursday, January 27, 2011
How is Norma?
HOW IS NORMA?
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked,
"Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the
patient?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that
room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,
"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well.. Her
blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her
physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said,
"Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good
news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything."
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked,
"Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"
The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the
patient?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that
room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,
"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well.. Her
blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her
physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said,
"Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good
news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything."
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Enjoy Life Now!
When you have an 'I Hate My Job day'
[Even if you're retired or you're a housewife, you sometimes have those days]
Try this:
Stop at your pharmacy and go to the
thermometer section and purchase
a rectal thermometer made by
Johnson and Johnson.
Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your
doors, draw the curtains and
turn off the phone so
you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable
clothing and sit in your favorite
chair. Open the package and
remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table
or a surface so that it will not
become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins.
Take out the literature from
the box and read it carefully.
You will notice that in small
print there is this statement:
"Every Rectal Thermometer
made by Johnson and Johnson
is personally tested
and then sanitized."
Now, close your eyes and repeat
out loud five times,' I am so glad
I do not work in the thermometer
quality control department at
Johnson and Johnson.'
HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER,
THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE
WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A
PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS!
If you haven't got a smile on your face
and laughter in your heart...
Maybe you should go and work
for Johnson and Johnson!
Enjoy life now - It has an expiration date!
[Even if you're retired or you're a housewife, you sometimes have those days]
Try this:
Stop at your pharmacy and go to the
thermometer section and purchase
a rectal thermometer made by
Johnson and Johnson.
Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your
doors, draw the curtains and
turn off the phone so
you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable
clothing and sit in your favorite
chair. Open the package and
remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table
or a surface so that it will not
become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins.
Take out the literature from
the box and read it carefully.
You will notice that in small
print there is this statement:
"Every Rectal Thermometer
made by Johnson and Johnson
is personally tested
and then sanitized."
Now, close your eyes and repeat
out loud five times,' I am so glad
I do not work in the thermometer
quality control department at
Johnson and Johnson.'
HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER,
THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE
WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A
PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS!
If you haven't got a smile on your face
and laughter in your heart...
Maybe you should go and work
for Johnson and Johnson!
Enjoy life now - It has an expiration date!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Things You Learn From Boys
You find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 2 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do that in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB and J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 2 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do that in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB and J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Hoosiers and Cold Weather
Cold Weather Behavior…
60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. Hoosiers plant gardens.
50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Indiana.
40 above zero: Import cars won’t start. Hoosiers drive with the sunroof open.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in the Hoosier State gets thicker.
20 above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas, wool hats and mittens. Hoosiers throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in Indiana have one last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero: People in Miami all die. Hoosiers close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. Hoosiers dig their winter coats out of storage.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in Indiana still selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero: Washington, D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in Indiana let their dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Hoosiers get upset because the Mini-Van won’t start.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in Indiana can be heard to say, “Cold ’nuff fer ya?”
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. In Terre Haute public schools open 2 hours late.
60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. Hoosiers plant gardens.
50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Indiana.
40 above zero: Import cars won’t start. Hoosiers drive with the sunroof open.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in the Hoosier State gets thicker.
20 above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas, wool hats and mittens. Hoosiers throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in Indiana have one last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero: People in Miami all die. Hoosiers close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. Hoosiers dig their winter coats out of storage.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in Indiana still selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero: Washington, D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in Indiana let their dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Hoosiers get upset because the Mini-Van won’t start.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in Indiana can be heard to say, “Cold ’nuff fer ya?”
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. In Terre Haute public schools open 2 hours late.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Door Mats
These are a few sayings found on door mats.....
You are here!
Our dog is not a biter. He's a humper!
GO AWAY! Come back with wine.
I'm Really Glad to See You! But then, I lie like a mat.
BEER Gets you in the door!
We love our vacuum, We found God, and We gave at the Office. Thank you!
You are here!
Our dog is not a biter. He's a humper!
GO AWAY! Come back with wine.
I'm Really Glad to See You! But then, I lie like a mat.
BEER Gets you in the door!
We love our vacuum, We found God, and We gave at the Office. Thank you!
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