Dear
Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark
wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are
dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an
erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about
that.
Sincerely,
Logic
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming.
It's karma's.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic.. I
mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely,
Anonymous
Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your
punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't
know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Google
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the
president is black? What happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle
Dear girls who have been
dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea...
Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on
it.
Sincerely,
God
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about
foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely, Stevie
Wonder
Dear Nickleback,
That's enough.
Sincerely, The World
Dear Skin-Colored Band
Aids,
Please make one for every skin
color.
Sincerely, Black
people
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run
with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's
virginity.
Sincerely, Parents
Everywhere
Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in
Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon
Ladies
Dear Americans,
I'm sorry, did you just insult us? I
couldn't hear you over my health care benefits.
Sincerely, Canadians
Dear Global Warming,
You're the best imaginary friend
ever!
Sincerely, Al Gore
Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely, Alcohol
Dear Mr. Gump
What are you talking about? There's a
little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you're gonna
get....
Sincerely, Jenny
Dear Katy Perry,
I liked the kiss too.
Sincerely, Justin
Beiber
Dear Martin Luther King
Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a
dream within another dream.... What now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate
immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude
words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear Giant Spider on the
Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please
die. CRAP! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked
up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts
with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake
doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper
